I noticed this morning that one of the recent, most-read entries over at the National Catholic Register is this piece by Matthew Archbold:
Saying No to Sleepovers
I read it and was sort of on the fence thinking he was mostly right, but also being a tad too uptight about the whole subject. But then I read all of the comments. And I have to say I'm almost at 100% agreement with him after all.
The profusion of comments regarding sexual exploration, Ouija boards, inappropriate movies, overly-intimate sharing, and also just downright mean nasty behavior (group sleepovers) jogged my memory. Let's see: check, check, check, check, and check. Other than not being molested by someone's older brother or father, every horror story recounted in those comments happened to me in the context of a pre-teen or teenage sleepover.
With many, many unwanted life-long lasting effects. Truly.
This is hard for me to admit because I want to believe that sleepovers are harmless. I want to be like the minority voices in that commbox who felt that these people who don't allow sleepovers are nutjobs trying to live in the bubble. I want to hold onto some fantasy of late-night giggling, bowls of popcorn, and a few Duran Duran videos. (Today I suppose that would be One Direction videos.)
The thing is, it was rarely if ever like that for me. Oh sure, there were a few times when it was all fun and innocent. But looking back, the best case scenario involved me being overly-tired the following day and my parents probably wanting to shoot themselves in the head over my next-day behavior, recognizing that I was functionally useless. In fact, I know of many families who limit the number of sleepovers their kids are allowed just for this one factor alone - the predictable rotten behavior that follows from not getting enough sleep and eating nothing but junk for hours.
I was trying to think if there was a modern cultural vignette of the sleepover to use as something to esteem to? But the only two that came to mind confirm what the commbox stories were saying: There's the sleepover scene in Grease where there's smoking, mean girl behavior, and immoral talk. Ditto for Valley Girl, where a short sleepover scene (if I remember correctly) involves the girls trying on the mother's sexy lingerie while she's out of the house. Note the "out of the house" part.
All of that seems charmingly innocent and true-blue American in some way. But we must remember that's Hollywood.
What's not innocent is how I was exposed to Blue Lagoon, Porkies, and God knows what other inappropriate movies starting at around age 12. The late night Ouija board sessions I held at multiple sleepovers are still near legendary status when certain friends reminisce. I easily recall the hurt feelings when late night sharing amongst girls would get out of control, as someone would finally just say what they really thought and felt about something, and then crying/fighting would ensue, sometimes ending with "I'm going home!" at 1:30 in the morning. I can't imagine what it's like now with smartphones in each hand. (I'm aware that numerous articles have now been written about the damage smartphones have wrought at sleepovers; some parents are banning phones when kids spend the night.)
But worse is the sexual abuse and pornography I was exposed to at sleepovers. I don't feel like saying too much more about it, but I will say this: My parents had no idea. They trusted the parent(s) of the homes I stayed in dozen upon dozens of times. They thought they knew the families. In my case, it wasn't that the family(ies) were rotten, it was actually that my friend(s) were rotten and corrupted. But it just as easily could have worked the other way around, with the friend being fine, but family members doing horrendous things under cover.
Many of the comments over at the Register talked about how sleepovers are permissible if you really, really, really know the family inside and out and know that they share your religious and social values. I agree with such a view, as I believe saying no sleepovers EVER is kind of extreme. In our case, Alan has had a handful of sleepovers with one particular child - staying at that child's house and that child staying at ours. Our two families are totally joined at the hip, including on the Catholic front, and besides, Alan is only six years old, so we don't really think there's an issue there.
Still, so many of the people discussing this subject at the Register made a point that I can't deny: What good is accomplished at night that can't be accomplished by daylight? A kid can stay at someone's house until 11:00 pm, come home and ACTUALLY SLEEP, and if you want to get up early and have breakfast together, great, let's get together at Denny's the next morning. There's no reason to be awake late into the night. There's no reason not to sleep. There's no reason not to sleep in your own bed, where peaceful sleep is actually possible.
And then there's just the question of the unknown - the things that go on within someone's home that you didn't anticipate or expect. If you read through the comments over there, it becomes evident that some of the families didn't expect what came from their own family!
Granted, I am naturally suspicious that the overload of comments which are decidedly anti-sleepover are skewed. I mean, let's face it, if there was an anti-pants entry over there, the anti-pants crowd comes running and fills the commbox and one walks away thinking they're going to hell for wearing jeans. It may be the same phenomenon about the sleepover topic. However, I didn't see unreasonableness in the stories and examples shared. It came off to me that is was mostly normal people who understood, as a few people quipped, that "My grandmother always said nothing good happens after midnight."
I'm relieved that I have a son, which means (I hope) that as he gets older, sleepovers will be way less of an issue than with girls. Unfortunately, my son already thinks that a sleepover is the best thing since sliced bread, but I rack that up to childish enthusiasm and the prospect of uninterrupted play, which is very important to an only child. But man oh man, if I had a daughter, I just don't know what I'd do. I say this as a girl who knows what girls do and how girls act. As far as I'm concerned, it's a landmine out there without sleepovers to complicate things.
What are your thoughts?
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Warning - I Gotta Be Me
This little tiny post is meant as a warning.
That I have to be me.
You know - sarcastic, sometimes scathing, sometimes bordering on mean in order to make a point. And to ask legitimate questions.
You've been warned that despite all that's happened, parts of me still operate as before.
That's all.
That I have to be me.
You know - sarcastic, sometimes scathing, sometimes bordering on mean in order to make a point. And to ask legitimate questions.
You've been warned that despite all that's happened, parts of me still operate as before.
That's all.
Just Trying to Live Life Again
I really, really hope this blog post doesn't end up being just an "update," thereby rendering this blog pointless and virtually dead. Believe me, I have many subjects I'd like to write about. But the thing is, our family is just trying to live life again.
What do I mean by that? If you're out of the loop, you could check out the blog post that was written before this one. Looking back, though, that blog post was written in a much too light-and-breezy fashion. It should have read that we've been through hell and have lived to tell about it.
-We have survived the death of two parents, with one death akin to being hit by a Mack truck.
-We have survived my mother's 4000 square foot home burning down after she died. (That is a blog post of its own and was such a life-changing event I sometimes wonder if I'll ever get over it.)
-We have survived my son's school closing and we are now (gag) homeschooling. (As I write, my son is copying out numbers 101, 102, and 103 of the catechism because he acted like a little sh*t at mass this weekend, although he doesn't know that's why he's doing it. He just thinks it's his daily copy work. Ha!)
-We have survived my husband retiring from a 25-year career and looking for another job, which he has found.
-We have survived moving into what is a small version of my dream home. We did that one month before Christmas, which caused much stress, and which continues to stress us out (in a very good way) as we continue to get settled, redecorate, and at the current time, live with our whole kitchen ripped out due to a kitchen remodel that was necessitated by a few mice.
-We have survived a few other things which shall not be discussed, and that I'd llllluuuuuuuuvvvvv to blog about, but won't.
Our life has moved at such a fast pace, crisis-to-crisis, that I often reflect upon the fact that I (and we) haven't had the proper time to mourn any and all of the above. We've just had to keep moving. I am wise enough to see that being in constant motion has its pluses, yet knowing that at some point there will be a pause, and wondering if that's when I get to stop and breathe, and when I do, will I fall apart?
In the meantime, I am occupied with constantly trying new approaches in order to make homeschooling work. Or driving around Milwaukee looking at so many ugly/boring griege-colored floor and tile samples that I want to puke, whilst also repeatedly telling sales people that really - no really - I HATE and DESPISE granite so please stop trying to talk me into it. Or searching for a new, closer parish that doesn't sing "Happy Birthday" during mass (happened this weekend), or the entire congregation clapping after the priest's homily (happened last weekend and we can tell they do it every week), or refusing to pass the basket around, instead opting for everyone just walking up to the altar to put their contributions in that way (happened at what would be our new local neighborhood church that we won't be attending.)
I blame all of this on Mary. Yes, you heard me right. If you go back a few blog posts, you'll recall that I have an amazing, supernatural story to tell. I just don't know how to tell it in a way that has the intended affect. And also knowing there are some unwelcome naysayers who read this blog who will just laugh. But we know the truth. We know that everything that has happened to us, and I mean everything, has been a fantastic blessing - even if we didn't see it at the time it was happening.
As I sit here at this computer, I look out windows where most of what I see is trees and nature and copious birds eating at our birdfeeders. When spring comes, our yard and the immediate environment will be a paradise.
As I sit here at this computer, I look into a beautiful living room where an exact replica of my mother's baby grand piano now sits (hers, of course, was destroyed in the fire). The walls behind it are painted a soothing gray/blue (Sherwin Williams "Comfort Gray") and they are covered in beautiful art work, some of which was recovered from the fire and restored. My mother's spirit is all around me.
As I sit here at this computer, my son is here with me - driving me nuts, which means life is actually normal on some level. My husband is also here, blessed with a flexible schedule, which means we can look out these windows together, sharing our morning cup of tea with one another in front of a fire, looking through bird guides, deciphering who our feathered visitors are.
As I sit here at this computer, I see the many blessings that have come as a result of the flames. We are blessed and grateful. Praise be to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
And never underestimate Mary.
What do I mean by that? If you're out of the loop, you could check out the blog post that was written before this one. Looking back, though, that blog post was written in a much too light-and-breezy fashion. It should have read that we've been through hell and have lived to tell about it.
-We have survived the death of two parents, with one death akin to being hit by a Mack truck.
-We have survived my mother's 4000 square foot home burning down after she died. (That is a blog post of its own and was such a life-changing event I sometimes wonder if I'll ever get over it.)
-We have survived my son's school closing and we are now (gag) homeschooling. (As I write, my son is copying out numbers 101, 102, and 103 of the catechism because he acted like a little sh*t at mass this weekend, although he doesn't know that's why he's doing it. He just thinks it's his daily copy work. Ha!)
-We have survived my husband retiring from a 25-year career and looking for another job, which he has found.
-We have survived moving into what is a small version of my dream home. We did that one month before Christmas, which caused much stress, and which continues to stress us out (in a very good way) as we continue to get settled, redecorate, and at the current time, live with our whole kitchen ripped out due to a kitchen remodel that was necessitated by a few mice.
-We have survived a few other things which shall not be discussed, and that I'd llllluuuuuuuuvvvvv to blog about, but won't.
Our life has moved at such a fast pace, crisis-to-crisis, that I often reflect upon the fact that I (and we) haven't had the proper time to mourn any and all of the above. We've just had to keep moving. I am wise enough to see that being in constant motion has its pluses, yet knowing that at some point there will be a pause, and wondering if that's when I get to stop and breathe, and when I do, will I fall apart?
In the meantime, I am occupied with constantly trying new approaches in order to make homeschooling work. Or driving around Milwaukee looking at so many ugly/boring griege-colored floor and tile samples that I want to puke, whilst also repeatedly telling sales people that really - no really - I HATE and DESPISE granite so please stop trying to talk me into it. Or searching for a new, closer parish that doesn't sing "Happy Birthday" during mass (happened this weekend), or the entire congregation clapping after the priest's homily (happened last weekend and we can tell they do it every week), or refusing to pass the basket around, instead opting for everyone just walking up to the altar to put their contributions in that way (happened at what would be our new local neighborhood church that we won't be attending.)
I blame all of this on Mary. Yes, you heard me right. If you go back a few blog posts, you'll recall that I have an amazing, supernatural story to tell. I just don't know how to tell it in a way that has the intended affect. And also knowing there are some unwelcome naysayers who read this blog who will just laugh. But we know the truth. We know that everything that has happened to us, and I mean everything, has been a fantastic blessing - even if we didn't see it at the time it was happening.
As I sit here at this computer, I look out windows where most of what I see is trees and nature and copious birds eating at our birdfeeders. When spring comes, our yard and the immediate environment will be a paradise.
As I sit here at this computer, I look into a beautiful living room where an exact replica of my mother's baby grand piano now sits (hers, of course, was destroyed in the fire). The walls behind it are painted a soothing gray/blue (Sherwin Williams "Comfort Gray") and they are covered in beautiful art work, some of which was recovered from the fire and restored. My mother's spirit is all around me.
As I sit here at this computer, my son is here with me - driving me nuts, which means life is actually normal on some level. My husband is also here, blessed with a flexible schedule, which means we can look out these windows together, sharing our morning cup of tea with one another in front of a fire, looking through bird guides, deciphering who our feathered visitors are.
As I sit here at this computer, I see the many blessings that have come as a result of the flames. We are blessed and grateful. Praise be to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
And never underestimate Mary.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Breathe In-Breathe Out-Breathe In-Breathe Out
So, you know how they (whoever "they" are) have those lists of the most life-altering events that can happen to a person? Well, check this out: We've hit ten (10) out of the below listed fifteen (15) major life occurrences inside of six months.
-Death of a parent
-Another death of a parent
-Bankruptcy
-Death of a spouse
-School closing
-Switch over to Tridentine rite of Catholicism
-Homeschooling
-Foreclosure
-Home burning down
-Job loss
-Death of a grandparent
-Retirement from career
-Purchase of new home/moving
-Expensive law suit
-Major medical surgery
OK, I threw one in there as a joke. But which one is it? (Those of you who know, be quiet and just play along.) Also, I made one or two of them up just to keep things mysterious.
But seriously, none of this is actually funny. Just pick out ten of the above - any ten - and do the math. We have been stressed to the max, sad, on edge, and confused for months now. At the same time, we've been greatly blessed, been shown how much God loves us, and our whole life has been given the "reset" button, which is exciting - and also scary.
I'll let you know, though, which item above is the most recent and pressing, which is that we're moving into a newly purchased home. We're only going a short distance north from where we live (about a 25 minute drive) into a small suburb in Milwaukee County. We bought a lovely little Cape Cod house with everything that we had on our list (except three bedrooms, heavy sigh) with gorgeous gardens on a parkway near Lake Michigan. The house has charm, personality, built-ins, a much coveted fireplace, a deck, and awesome decorating potential at every turn.
So I hope this blog post explains my absence. I have missed you all and hope the feeling is mutual. I really do plan on getting back to regular daily blogging soon, as I have so much to tell and so many things I have thought deeply about.
-Death of a parent
-Another death of a parent
-Bankruptcy
-Death of a spouse
-School closing
-Switch over to Tridentine rite of Catholicism
-Homeschooling
-Foreclosure
-Home burning down
-Job loss
-Death of a grandparent
-Retirement from career
-Purchase of new home/moving
-Expensive law suit
-Major medical surgery
OK, I threw one in there as a joke. But which one is it? (Those of you who know, be quiet and just play along.) Also, I made one or two of them up just to keep things mysterious.
But seriously, none of this is actually funny. Just pick out ten of the above - any ten - and do the math. We have been stressed to the max, sad, on edge, and confused for months now. At the same time, we've been greatly blessed, been shown how much God loves us, and our whole life has been given the "reset" button, which is exciting - and also scary.
I'll let you know, though, which item above is the most recent and pressing, which is that we're moving into a newly purchased home. We're only going a short distance north from where we live (about a 25 minute drive) into a small suburb in Milwaukee County. We bought a lovely little Cape Cod house with everything that we had on our list (except three bedrooms, heavy sigh) with gorgeous gardens on a parkway near Lake Michigan. The house has charm, personality, built-ins, a much coveted fireplace, a deck, and awesome decorating potential at every turn.
So I hope this blog post explains my absence. I have missed you all and hope the feeling is mutual. I really do plan on getting back to regular daily blogging soon, as I have so much to tell and so many things I have thought deeply about.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Really Super Supernatural Stuff
First of all, I want to thank everyone who left a comment on my previous entry and/or prayed for me, my family, and my mother. A HUGE thank you. I need to re-read all those comments - and I will - but like the many sympathy cards I have received, it's all overwhelming right now.
By the way, whoever mentioned about the snowflakes/hell thing not really being Fatima - a massive thank you. Ditto for the Padre Pio comments about his great-grandfather. I need to re-visit and think all that through, too, because I'm struggling with the whole aspect of my mother having an "unprovided death." But that can wait until later.
So anyway, today is just a little over a week since my Mom died. I'm holding up pretty well, all things considered, and also considering that I'm sick with a hack-my-guts-out type of thing, which makes me feel even more weak and vulnerable than I already am. Sort of freaked out that maybe I caught it from my step-father, who gave it to my mother, who then died when she got it. But I won't think about that right now. (Except I have to, since my step-father was still sick with it at the funeral.)
Pretty much, I'm numb. It isn't real to me yet and it doesn't seem possible that it is. I mean, there is NO WAY that my mother is dead, right?
I'm probably going through all the textbook emotions and behaviors one would expect. Like today, I had a fairly normal and even happy day, but then came home to face the reality of: IT HAPPENED AND YOU CAN'T IGNORE IT. And then feeling guilty that my every thought today wasn't on my mother. Note that the prevailing numbness is what even allowed for me to have a happy day. So, yes, I'm grateful for the happy day, but I'm still conscious of what lies not far underneath the surface. You know, things like not being able to get the image of my mother dead in a casket out of my head. Amongst many other psychological/emotional/existential turmoils.
But there's this really intriguing, amazing silver lining sort of thing to my mother's death. I want so much to explain it here on the blog, but I fear that I won't be taken seriously or that putting it into words out in the wide open of the blogosphere will cheapen it. Yet it's compelling enough that it really ought to be explained, almost as a testimony to the reality of God and the supernatural realm.
,
If you have a heart and sensitivity to the Spirit of God, you will hopefully find the story I soon plan to tell here just as amazing as we have. And then maybe you can help me to figure out what my next step is supposed to be. Because I feel pretty lost right now. As I've been telling anyone who asks, I don't know who or what I'm supposed to be, and every day so far I wake up wondering what the heck my life means.
By the way, whoever mentioned about the snowflakes/hell thing not really being Fatima - a massive thank you. Ditto for the Padre Pio comments about his great-grandfather. I need to re-visit and think all that through, too, because I'm struggling with the whole aspect of my mother having an "unprovided death." But that can wait until later.
So anyway, today is just a little over a week since my Mom died. I'm holding up pretty well, all things considered, and also considering that I'm sick with a hack-my-guts-out type of thing, which makes me feel even more weak and vulnerable than I already am. Sort of freaked out that maybe I caught it from my step-father, who gave it to my mother, who then died when she got it. But I won't think about that right now. (Except I have to, since my step-father was still sick with it at the funeral.)
Pretty much, I'm numb. It isn't real to me yet and it doesn't seem possible that it is. I mean, there is NO WAY that my mother is dead, right?
I'm probably going through all the textbook emotions and behaviors one would expect. Like today, I had a fairly normal and even happy day, but then came home to face the reality of: IT HAPPENED AND YOU CAN'T IGNORE IT. And then feeling guilty that my every thought today wasn't on my mother. Note that the prevailing numbness is what even allowed for me to have a happy day. So, yes, I'm grateful for the happy day, but I'm still conscious of what lies not far underneath the surface. You know, things like not being able to get the image of my mother dead in a casket out of my head. Amongst many other psychological/emotional/existential turmoils.
But there's this really intriguing, amazing silver lining sort of thing to my mother's death. I want so much to explain it here on the blog, but I fear that I won't be taken seriously or that putting it into words out in the wide open of the blogosphere will cheapen it. Yet it's compelling enough that it really ought to be explained, almost as a testimony to the reality of God and the supernatural realm.
,
If you have a heart and sensitivity to the Spirit of God, you will hopefully find the story I soon plan to tell here just as amazing as we have. And then maybe you can help me to figure out what my next step is supposed to be. Because I feel pretty lost right now. As I've been telling anyone who asks, I don't know who or what I'm supposed to be, and every day so far I wake up wondering what the heck my life means.
Monday, May 6, 2013
My Heart Is Breaking
Saturday morning my mother was found dead. She had a bad respiratory-type cold or flu, went to bed, and never woke up.
I am devastated, my heart is breaking, and I am convulsed with grief.
I never talked much about my Mom here because she read my blog, too. Believe me, she was a core person in my life, a life-line, and I loved her so very, very much.
I am sharing because I need prayers, my family needs prayers, and because (excuse my candidness here) every stupid freaking doomsday thing I've ever heard about Fatima and any other guilt-inducing Catholic teaching I know about death is going through my head and causing me massive anxiety.
No, she wasn't a practicing Catholic anymore. Yes, she considered herself Catholic. Yes, she believed in God and Christ. She also believed in angels and in her guardian angel, specifically.
I feel like a part of me has died.
I have seen my son crying copious tears and yelling, "God, bring her back!" I have also heard him say that "God will bring her back to life, right?" I don't know how to handle this.
The funeral is Wednesday. Crappy, small obituary will be in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel tomorrow. There's a long obit getting published somewhere, but I don't know where. Of course, me being the writer in the family, I wrote both of them. That sucked - how do you do an entire person's life justice? You can't.
This is going to be a long week. Right now I am at my son's school, which is exactly where I wanted to be today - surrounded by loving, caring people who know all the right (non-cliche) things to say. But more getting-ready-for-funeral stuff later today.
I am so, so tired. My eyes are stinging from crying, my head is exploding with pain from crying, and I'm really hungry but feel like I want to puke at the same time.
I didn't get to say goodbye to her. I can't stand it. I have regrets about how little I was in contact with her during the last month - you know, life - you get too busy with your own stuff, and Mom who is always there for you, she'll be there for you still when you get around to calling her, right?
Wrong. Say "I love you" NOW.
I am devastated, my heart is breaking, and I am convulsed with grief.
I never talked much about my Mom here because she read my blog, too. Believe me, she was a core person in my life, a life-line, and I loved her so very, very much.
I am sharing because I need prayers, my family needs prayers, and because (excuse my candidness here) every stupid freaking doomsday thing I've ever heard about Fatima and any other guilt-inducing Catholic teaching I know about death is going through my head and causing me massive anxiety.
No, she wasn't a practicing Catholic anymore. Yes, she considered herself Catholic. Yes, she believed in God and Christ. She also believed in angels and in her guardian angel, specifically.
I feel like a part of me has died.
I have seen my son crying copious tears and yelling, "God, bring her back!" I have also heard him say that "God will bring her back to life, right?" I don't know how to handle this.
The funeral is Wednesday. Crappy, small obituary will be in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel tomorrow. There's a long obit getting published somewhere, but I don't know where. Of course, me being the writer in the family, I wrote both of them. That sucked - how do you do an entire person's life justice? You can't.
This is going to be a long week. Right now I am at my son's school, which is exactly where I wanted to be today - surrounded by loving, caring people who know all the right (non-cliche) things to say. But more getting-ready-for-funeral stuff later today.
I am so, so tired. My eyes are stinging from crying, my head is exploding with pain from crying, and I'm really hungry but feel like I want to puke at the same time.
I didn't get to say goodbye to her. I can't stand it. I have regrets about how little I was in contact with her during the last month - you know, life - you get too busy with your own stuff, and Mom who is always there for you, she'll be there for you still when you get around to calling her, right?
Wrong. Say "I love you" NOW.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Merry Easter?
I swear it's getting worse every year.
I always start looking for it around Valentine's Day. And that's because I recall each year, as a child, listening to Milwaukee DJ "Larry the Legend" talking about it right around that time, when he let people call in and report the names and addresses of neighbors who hadn't yet taken down their Christmas decorations. And then Larry the Legend would turn around and call these people - live on the radio - to embarrass them, asking them why they hadn't yet taken them down?
Valentine's Day, today? That ain't nothing anymore; no one bats an eye.
Even yesterday, a day after Easter, I saw them all over the place as I drove across town: Christmas decorations hung on porches, plastic Santas in yards, and Christmas wreaths brown and dead still hanging on the front door. And it's not just in my town - it's all over the metro Milwaukee area, which I drive in and around and through multiple times a day, at least five or more days a week.
What is wrong with people? This past week I thought, at least, people would realize that Easter was in a few days, and so then they'd finally go outside and take down the Christmas stuff.
Nope.
I have this figured out, though. Tell me if you agree or not.
While I will allow some leeway for the fact that Wisconsin is cold and snowy and miserable for many months following Christmas, and people just don't want to go out and freeze their butts off taking down Christmas decorations in a foot of snow, I believe this is all about the secular nature of our culture which values Christmas, but ignores Easter. (By the way, we still have snow here, so I hope the Easter Bunny was wearing a coat!)
Seriously, though. Everyone gets these warm fuzzies about Christmas, especially since it's all about the gift-giving, right? People of all religions and faiths celebrate Christmas - oops, I mean the Holidays - because Christmas is about anything you want it to be, as long as it's about family and friends and "the spirit of the season," which is giving - oops - I mean GETTING.
But there's not much to be got for Easter. Which is why I believe there are many, many more people than we imagine who sit around doing jack sh*t nothing on Easter Sunday. And that's because it's pretty hard to ignore that Easter is absolutely, positively about Christ and Christianity. It's inherent in the whole thing and the hypocrisy of celebrating this holiday without having a vested interest in Christianity is obvious. Whereas the hypocrisy of ignoring the birth of Christ at Christmas is something our culture has long ago come to terms with.
On Easter Sunday, as we were leaving to go to mass, I noticed that the parking lot at our local grocery store was PACKED. Note that you wouldn't see that on Christmas Day, because everything on the planet is shut down. Thus, I imagine that if we had driven past a Wal-Mart on Sunday, we would have seem the same: a parking lot full of cars, given that a huge percentage of people in our culture see Easter Sunday as no different than any other day. Well, save for maybe some kind relative who invites you over for a nice dinner that you show up for and then leave, wondering what you should do for the rest of the day?
Hey, I know! Let's have a beer! Watch a basketball game! Here in Wisconsin, Easter Sunday is big business in the bars and clubs. Because it's such a sacred day and all.
Am I wrong about this?
Oh sure, there are secular people who make Easter a day about getting the kids out for an Easter egg hunt, and hiding an Easter basket, and maybe a nice Easter brunch. Akin to the secular Christmas holiday folks, who are nominally Christian for five minutes twice a year. But without the prospect of gifts to go around for everyone (that means the adults, too) I believe many people today just forgo Easter all together, since there's nothing in it for them.
And this is why I think there are so, so many Christmas decorations still hanging around out there. People just don't care about Easter, it has no meaning for them, so there's no reason to take them down. They'll wait until they have to mow the lawn for the first time or when Mom complains that she'd like them taken down and put away as a Mother's Day gift.
In my lifetime, as is already the case, I expect more and more to see Easter marginalized and de-emphasized, as our culture increasingly finds Christianity irrelevant or something to be hostile towards. Easter will instead continue to evolve into a spring festival of renewal (as was explicitly stated as the meaning of Easter on Alan's copy of "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown!"), which means people can take it or leave it. At best, it will be a Sunday off for some and a plate of ham over at Aunt Mary's house.
So sad.
I always start looking for it around Valentine's Day. And that's because I recall each year, as a child, listening to Milwaukee DJ "Larry the Legend" talking about it right around that time, when he let people call in and report the names and addresses of neighbors who hadn't yet taken down their Christmas decorations. And then Larry the Legend would turn around and call these people - live on the radio - to embarrass them, asking them why they hadn't yet taken them down?
Valentine's Day, today? That ain't nothing anymore; no one bats an eye.
Even yesterday, a day after Easter, I saw them all over the place as I drove across town: Christmas decorations hung on porches, plastic Santas in yards, and Christmas wreaths brown and dead still hanging on the front door. And it's not just in my town - it's all over the metro Milwaukee area, which I drive in and around and through multiple times a day, at least five or more days a week.
What is wrong with people? This past week I thought, at least, people would realize that Easter was in a few days, and so then they'd finally go outside and take down the Christmas stuff.
Nope.
I have this figured out, though. Tell me if you agree or not.
While I will allow some leeway for the fact that Wisconsin is cold and snowy and miserable for many months following Christmas, and people just don't want to go out and freeze their butts off taking down Christmas decorations in a foot of snow, I believe this is all about the secular nature of our culture which values Christmas, but ignores Easter. (By the way, we still have snow here, so I hope the Easter Bunny was wearing a coat!)
Seriously, though. Everyone gets these warm fuzzies about Christmas, especially since it's all about the gift-giving, right? People of all religions and faiths celebrate Christmas - oops, I mean the Holidays - because Christmas is about anything you want it to be, as long as it's about family and friends and "the spirit of the season," which is giving - oops - I mean GETTING.
But there's not much to be got for Easter. Which is why I believe there are many, many more people than we imagine who sit around doing jack sh*t nothing on Easter Sunday. And that's because it's pretty hard to ignore that Easter is absolutely, positively about Christ and Christianity. It's inherent in the whole thing and the hypocrisy of celebrating this holiday without having a vested interest in Christianity is obvious. Whereas the hypocrisy of ignoring the birth of Christ at Christmas is something our culture has long ago come to terms with.
On Easter Sunday, as we were leaving to go to mass, I noticed that the parking lot at our local grocery store was PACKED. Note that you wouldn't see that on Christmas Day, because everything on the planet is shut down. Thus, I imagine that if we had driven past a Wal-Mart on Sunday, we would have seem the same: a parking lot full of cars, given that a huge percentage of people in our culture see Easter Sunday as no different than any other day. Well, save for maybe some kind relative who invites you over for a nice dinner that you show up for and then leave, wondering what you should do for the rest of the day?
Hey, I know! Let's have a beer! Watch a basketball game! Here in Wisconsin, Easter Sunday is big business in the bars and clubs. Because it's such a sacred day and all.
Am I wrong about this?
Oh sure, there are secular people who make Easter a day about getting the kids out for an Easter egg hunt, and hiding an Easter basket, and maybe a nice Easter brunch. Akin to the secular Christmas holiday folks, who are nominally Christian for five minutes twice a year. But without the prospect of gifts to go around for everyone (that means the adults, too) I believe many people today just forgo Easter all together, since there's nothing in it for them.
And this is why I think there are so, so many Christmas decorations still hanging around out there. People just don't care about Easter, it has no meaning for them, so there's no reason to take them down. They'll wait until they have to mow the lawn for the first time or when Mom complains that she'd like them taken down and put away as a Mother's Day gift.
In my lifetime, as is already the case, I expect more and more to see Easter marginalized and de-emphasized, as our culture increasingly finds Christianity irrelevant or something to be hostile towards. Easter will instead continue to evolve into a spring festival of renewal (as was explicitly stated as the meaning of Easter on Alan's copy of "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown!"), which means people can take it or leave it. At best, it will be a Sunday off for some and a plate of ham over at Aunt Mary's house.
So sad.
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