Who I am just seems destined to be controversial and off-putting to other people.
It still takes some getting used to, even while I've been dealing with this my entire life.
Maybe I'm just tired of it.
Maybe I'm just tired of having to deal with it in new waves in new places.
Heavy sigh.
Char...I say this with charity...but do you think you put people off so if they reject you later you feel less hurt because you've already rejected them first?
ReplyDeleteAngela M.
Do you think it's a regional thing? I live in the Real Housewives of NJ area and here people just say what they mean all the time. In fact, I don't find you abrasive or loud mouthed at all - to me you are an authentic "tell it like it is" person.
ReplyDeleteDo you mean on the internet or in real life? Or both? Just curious.
ReplyDeleteCatlady
Angela, I think there is an element of that, but it's decreased exponentially over the years and much of it is intuitive or subconscious.
ReplyDeleteJMB, I have a good friend down south, and everytime I've ever visited, she'd tell me that she'd do all the talking in stores and restaurants because my "yankee" ways were too brusque. So maybe it is a regional thing. Who knows?
Catlady: Both. The headmaster at Alan's school recently pointed out to me that I was "spontaneously effusive," as if it were a bad thing. He has no idea of how much he hurt me with that comment, but oh well.
What's wrong with being spontaneously effusive? People like us make life fun!
ReplyDeleteAngela M.
I've found that my less than delicate self fit in just fine with the orthopedic OR when I was working, not so much in the Catholic circles I now spend most of my time in. I think that peoples' reactions are often from not being used to such frankness. I don't do politically correct well and often stuggle with social niceties. It does bother me so I understand how it can be pulling you down to have it hit from new, unexpected sides.
ReplyDeleteI have found that if I (with GREAT effort) am able to hit a streak of delicacy I get what I want more from the general public. So there is definitely an advantage to it, as well as developing the virtue of self discipline and whatnot. It's not easy nor always necessary though.
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous,
DeleteI have found that if I try to match delicacy with delicacy, it usually isn't me that breaks it. And then I revert back to self.
Getting along with people DOES take self-discipline. To act in Christian conduct requires that. I know that we're supposed to act that way naturally(?) if we're subject to the fruits of the Spirit, but becoming controlled by the Holy Spirit is a process, yes? : )
Yeah, I know what you mean. But you can only do what you can do. Try to be nice, give people the benefit of the doubt, and forgive those who don't return the favor. My guess is your life and your brain are full enough already without having to walk on eggshells every time you're in a social situation. Some people will get you, and some people won't, and life isn't perfect.
ReplyDeleteFix what you can, and leave the rest in God's hands.
Excellent advice, Mr. Lamming. Thanks! By the way, is that internet shill thing a joke or real?
DeleteI would love to email you as a fellow survivor, but can't find an address. I live kind of near you. We can do this Church.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, what does "survivor" mean?
Deletecheekypinkgirl@yahoo.com
Don't pay too much mind to anything a school administrator says. School administrators, no matter who they are, generally like when parents stay quiet, give lots of money and volunteer time, and smile and go along with everything. Human nature, and can't say I blame them, part of the job.
ReplyDelete(Was that too cynical?)
Catlady
Well, I like you the way you are. OK?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Es!
Delete