City Slicker Catholicism

An unfortunate side effect of all the years I've been blogging as a Catholic - which is now almost six years - is that I run pretty much every Catholic experience and scenario I encounter through the lens of either the Catholic homeschoolers and/or the Traditional Catholics. I consider this state of affairs the equivalent to an unwanted illness, but at minimum this compulsion probably makes for good blogging.

For example, take this past weekend.

We were in northern Wisconsin on a little getaway, because the one-year anniversary of my Mom dying was basically Mother's Day weekend, and I just wanted to be somewhere else. Our location wasn't too far north, being about two and a half hours northwest of Milwaukee, but still in an area that people in Wisconsin would consider "up nort."

Naturally, being there for Mother's Day, we were faced with finding a mass to go to on Sunday. We've been in this location many times before, and quite frankly, the one Catholic church that represents the population of 6000 or so isn't our cup of tea. (I once blogged about the creepy decor at this church on the old blog.)  Plus their one Sunday mass time wasn't working out with being served breakfast at a B&B.

So this time, we tried something new and ventured about 20 miles further to a Catholic church in a town with a population of about 1900 people. Note that this church, too, had only one Sunday mass time. What we ended up with was an Indian priest (that we could understand fairly well) saying mass in a mid-1960's architectural church. Some elements of decor inside were traditional, but many more were modernist post-Vatican II. Before the mass readings, the kids were excused to go to kids' church, and we let Alan go because we were just visiting and he was driving us nuts anyway.

All good so far, right? I mean, at least in the sense of being an American Catholic parish.

But during the Eucharistic rite it happened. When the priest raised the consecrated host - and again when he raised the cup - he paused in silent reverence.....then started singing (with the whole congregation) a short sing-songy song about loving and adoring Jesus. Not once, but twice. Totally against any Church rubrics that exist, even while the words of the little song were beautiful and were completely intended to foster in people the idea that the Eucharistic Lord is present and to be adored. The little song went something like "Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I adore you. Lay my life before you. How I love you."

It's at these moments that my husband and I will shoot each other a knowing look born more of surprise than of judgement. These looks betray our uncomfortableness at not having expected what happened and being weirded out at not knowing what to do when faced with innovations.

But this time, yeah, even though I was supposed to be engrossed in the sacrifice of the mass, here's the judgemental thoughts that were rolling around in my head this past Sunday when I was exposed to the "singing consecration": Whatcha gonna do about this liturgical weirdness, Traditional and conservative Catholics? Where ya gonna go? Where ya gonna hide? How far are you gonna drive to find a reverent mass (or Latin Mass) now, given that you're three to four hours from any major city that might have such a mass to go to?

Which led me to think that the ability to find and attend a "mass of your choice" is a city problem. Uber-reverent and Latin masses are for city slickers, because overall, it's only in large metropolitan areas where they can be found. Which also makes it......elitist.

Wait. Where have I heard that before? This is not the first time I've had similar thoughts.

You know, for every Catholic who lives in the cities and suburbs, there's another who lives out in bumblef*ck. And those folks pretty much have no choice or slim pickings about where they're gonna go to mass. It's usually "this place" or the "place a half hour or 45 minutes away." That's it!

What if your permanent Sunday mass choice was wreckovation with liturgical abuse -or- horrendous architecture with liturgical innovation? Or the priest so uninspired that his sermons make you nod off? Think about that. Because that's what many, many Catholics face as their day-to-day reality. And yet they survive, persist, and even thrive. Why is that?

Because they have learned to work through and accept the reality that the Catholic Church is the Catholic Church is the Catholic Church no matter what the surroundings. And that, my friends, is something I totally admire. Faith in the Catholic Church because, well, that's what you do. Because if they didn't, then they'd be shit out of luck. (Not to mention being in a state of mortal sin.)

Where we used to live, at one point, we had eight parishes to choose from. If we expanded our radius another 15 minutes, then we probably had another half dozen to add to the mix. And yet we were often unsatisfied and considered driving into Milwaukee County for 45+ minutes (and many times did) to go to a mass that was more to our liking. Boy do I feel like an asshole now that I think about it.

We finally live in Milwaukee County now and probably have 75+ parishes from which to choose, which means in essence, hundreds of masses we can pick over to personally fit our schedule. And yet, the homeschoolers in our area, well, over 60% of them all attend ONE parish because they refuse to attend anywhere else....nothing is good enough or holy enough or proper enough for them. Some of them drive an hour or more to go to this place, even while they have dozens of parishes around them to consider.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a "conservative" Catholic (whatever that means) and I'm not for liturgical abuse or innovation. I have a higher tolerance for it than other conservative Catholics, true. But overall, I'm not staying long at a parish that's all funked-out. Which is why we've yet to find and join a church in Milwaukee County. Believe me, there's been LOTS of interesting stuff we've experienced in our search -which I may or may not blog about in the future - but even then, it hasn't occurred to us to drive 45 minutes or an hour away to pick a parish. We just wouldn't do that. Not only is it a massive inconvenience, but the concept of driving that far or long for mass/parish participation pretty much smashes the concept of local community.

After the "interesting" mass we attended in this small northern Wisconsin town, I asked my husband: "If we lived here, which of the two churches would we pick to attend?" He was hard-pressed to give an answer and so was I. Ultimately, it would probably come down to the professed beliefs of the priest and the kinds of people who attended the church. Yet the more I thought about it, I recognized that the hard-pressed feeling had more to do with facing the reality of having TWO CHOICES for parish life instead of dozens upon dozens. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have to deal with such a situation.

Which brings me around to something that irritates the crap out of me. All these Latin Mass types on the internet whining and crying (or alternately bragging - all depends on the personality and the point they're trying to get across) about how they drive one, two, three hours just to go to a Latin mass. The expected response is to be awed at how utterly devoted they are to their Catholic faith because of the sacrifice they're making.

What about the sacrifice being made down the street at their local parish? You know, the one up on the altar?

I feel the same way about the local homeschooling community's "unofficial" endorsement of ONE parish and one parish only as the only legitimate novus ordo parish to consider in the Milwaukee Archdiocese. Which I find hilarious since 90% of them live out in the suburbs, but this church is located in the Mexican ghetto of Milwaukee. (Disclosure: I volunteer at the food pantry at this parish because I'm currently interested in serving and seeing the faces of people who are legitimately need to see the face of Christ in servivce, but I am soooo not a member.) So, yeah, spend an hour driving in with your long skirts and chapel veils and then take off for the rest of the week. Nice! (If anyone reading this is actually part of the local homeschooling community and attends this parish, sorry, but this is how I really feel. Sue me. Ostracize me. Whatever.)

I'm up on my soapbox here and I know it. So, while I'm up here I'd like to remind everyone to consider what a BLESSING it is to have mass at all. I recently read the story of Father Joseph Kentenich's (Schoenstatt Movement) time in the Dauchau concentration camp during World War II. At various times, getting caught saying mass was punishable by death. Sometimes mass was said with smuggled wine in only a whisper with barbed wire, rats, and brick walls as the surrounding environment, and yet - that was good enough!

I am a City Slicker Catholic because I have too many choices, which makes me opinionated and entitled, which makes me an elitist. I sincerely believe this to be true. Did you hear me? I AM AN ELITIST. But maybe that's a bad thing? I'm considering that it might be!

What about you? Are you practicing City Slicker Catholicism? Do you feel you're entitled to the myriad of choices you have? Or are you stuck out somewhere where you're feeling lucky to have a parish nearby at all?

Reason #368 I Wish I Had Never Listened to Trad Commentary About Anything

So, I know some people think it's not too classy to talk about what you gave up for Lent. The whole don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing and praying in the streets to be noticed thing and all that. But stick with me here.

I'm not big on giving up things for Lent. Never have been, and as long-time followers of my blog know, I have mega issues with the no meat on Fridays restriction. I follow it mostly; although this year I probably won't be overly-strict about it because I gave up sugar and all carbs for Lent and if that isn't suffering, I don't know what is. I admit it was mostly a health decision that I hope becomes more spiritual as Lent progresses. Anyway, when you make such a huge change to how you eat, believe me, it's all about what you can have. Meat and vegetables are what power a low/no carb diet. Sorry Church.

What I normally do for Lent is add on things. Like an extra mass a week, or Stations of the Cross, etc. This year I decided that I will read St. Faustina's Diary by the end of the Lent, given that two people who love me very much have endeavored to give me gift copies AND my Catholic therapist has been after me to read it.

This afternoon I sat down in my beautiful new living room with a cup of coffee and started to read the introduction and immediately became seized with the exact same thoughts as when I tried to read this book once before, many years ago. These thoughts are:

Damn Trads. Damn Trads and SSPXers with all their casting aspersions on any saint canonized after Vatican II. Damn uber-uber-uber Catholics openly ranting on the internet about how suspicious it was that Pope John Paul II, a Polish man, got a Polish nun canonized, and hey, shouldn't we be questioning that a little bit more? Isn't that, shall we say, a very pro-Polish agenda? Besides, it says right there in the diary that Faustina's writings used to be subject to various censures and restrictions. Then add in assorted commentary about all the fast-tracking of canonizations since Vatican II, which of course makes them invalid?

I wish wish wish that I had never heard these arguments, no matter how extreme (or well-intentioned) they might be. Or how much of a minority voice they might represent. Yes, I know it's not all Trads - please don't remind me it's not all of them; I get that.

Here's the thing: Words matter. (The irony of me saying that isn't lost on me.) But still, there are some kinds of words that one can't forget - that, at minimum, are meant to plant doubt. Traditional Catholicism excels at this kind of thing. All it takes is one little grain of doubt to get you questioning your mass, the consecration at your mass, your parish, your priest, your devotions, your Catholic school, etc.

I hate it.

OK, I still firmly intend to read Sister Faustina's Diary this Lent, but with the caveat that part of it has been ruined for me by the things I've seen and read out there.

My husband says: Maybe we should perhaps consider that the Holy Spirit, in its infinite wisdom, has allowed certain saints to be fast-tracked because of the intense need and help we sinners here on earth have of them? And he also reiterated to me that the problem with certain Traditional Catholics is that they want to be the judge and arbitrator, instead of allowing the Church to do her own job.

Well I'm gonna try real hard to remember these points, but it's gonna be difficult.

Trad commentary on many subjects (but not all) is like the car wreck scene I can't get out of my mind's eye. Sometimes I wonder if that's exactly what they want? Like the scene they've made of Fatima.The Trads have totally ruined that for me. I will likely never have a devotion to anything Fatima-related or read anything about it.

So, anyway, welcome Lent. Say a short prayer that I might have some mercy on the Traditional Catholics that get under my skin.

In Defense of the Clown Mass (But Not Really)

One would think that the liturgy police would know how...well....that they would know how liturgy works in our modern-day world. But it seems they don't.

Case in point: I got a short and sweet(?) comment on my blog yesterday, as concerns the "Rorate Caeli Can Kiss My Ass" post, which was:

"FYI: Google MISA DE NINOS 2011. 'nuff said"

So I did. Although I have to say, even before I did, I knew what I was going to find. I was going to find a "clown mass" being offered by our new pope, the Former Cardinal Bergoglio. And I was right. If you care, here it is:

Now, the subject of this blog post isn't necessarily to discuss "clown masses." (By the way, I put that term in quotations because Traditionalists like to label ANY mass they don't approve of as a clown mass.) Rather, this post is meant to discuss how priests, cardinals, and bishops end up presiding at "clown masses" in the first place.

So, I'm going to break it down here for the Blind and Unthinking Traditionalist. Here's how I think it works:

1. Office of [fill in the blank with whatever name you want] bishop gets a phone call or letter from a parish, group, or other Catholic organization, asking if the good bishop is able to preside over mass on a particular date.

2. Secretary or personal assistant to the bishop checks the very busy and often booked-up schedule of the bishop and pencils in the date, and then sends out a confirmation letter (or perhaps a phone call), indicating that the bishop will be at the requested event to offer mass.

3. On the appointed date, bishop is handed a daily schedule, which includes the confirmed mass at which he is the celebrant.

4. Bishop shows up to the event and presides over the mass.

Now, this is KEY - listen up all you would-be liturgy police! - guess what? THE BISHOP DID NOT PLAN THE MASS AT WHICH HE IS THE CELEBRANT! Isn't that amazing? He had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the mass at which he kindly came to preside over! 

So, let's think this through, shall we? If the mass has lousy music, the bishop didn't plan that lousy music. If the mass is being held in the most abominable post-modern church ever built, he didn't build that church or plan that the mass would be said there. If the organ is broken and the musicians have to switch over to guitars? Nope, not his fault. If the readings selected don't correspond with the liturgical calendar - out of his control! If there are colorful flags and helium balloons festooning the church when he arrives? Not his problem, since he wasn't on the committee that planned how the mass would be celebrated.

Anyone not understanding this?

Now, let's enter the mind of a staunch Traditionalist. The kind of person who, say, leaves a comment on my blog implying that the above-highlighted "clown mass" is an absolute indication that our new Pope is indeed an advocate of killing the Latin mass. Here's how I imagine such a person would respond to my explanation of how bishops and the like end up presiding over "clown masses":

"Well, then, if the bishop saw that such a mass was even a possibility - if he walked in and saw colorful flags and electric guitars and liturgical dancers - well, then, he should have refused to say mass, rather than allow such liturgical abuse to continue on unchecked."

And that, my friends, is the problem. The problem is that the staunch Traditionalist would have the bishop respond to such a mass as if he were Christ in the temple, over-turning the money lenders tables. He would rather "truth" triumph over charity. He would rather deprive people of a mass, risking the disappointment of innocent Catholics, than allow a consecrated bishop allow such a mass to continue. 

Here's the thing, though. Bishops don't do that. They don't show up to say mass and then decide once they get there to back out. Instead, if they sense something is "off" about the arrangement, they proceed with goodwill, love, charity, and respect for those attending, as well as those who hosted and planned the mass. 

To imply that the mass in that You Tube video is the brainchild and preference of our new Pope Francis is ludicrous. Not only because no one really knows, but mostly because the chances are about 100% that he was invited to preside over that mass unaware of the stylings that were planned for that mass, as determined by whoever sponsored it. 

Therefore, it is triple-ludicrous to imply that such a mass is "proof" that Pope Francis hates the TLM, is against it, wants to limit it, or is a big fan of watered-down, feel-good liturgy. Taking the most extreme example of a mass that he presided over as proof of anything shows desperation to prove a point that can't be proven via normal means.

This past week, the Catholic internet has featured many, many written pieces that wonder aloud at the near crazy responses the Traditionalists have had to Pope Francis. I add this blog post to the growing pile, wondering if Traditionalists of this bent realize what damage they are doing to their cause?

I'm no fan of "clown masses," but in this case, I have to defend one. 
 

Rorate Caeli Can Kiss My Ass

Listen, I get that Rorate Caeli is authentically and wholly and completely Catholic, i.e. "Good Catholic" and Latin this and Latin that, blah, blah, blah. But for them to post this garbage on the same day as the Pope is elected? Shame! Kiss my ass!

The Horror! A Buenos Aires journalist describes Bergoglio
 

OK, and yeah, I get it that Rorate Caeli is "just reporting" and "providing information." Still, couldn't this piece of absolute, total negativity wait at least 24 hours?

For example (just one of many), half of all the Catholics on the planet probably don't even know what a Jesuit is. Could we just allow a basic grasp of the facts and enjoy the new Pope in a mode of happiness and hope before we shit all over everything?

When people want to know why I tend to be really, really negative about Traditionalists, here is a prime example of why. Publishing this crap just to stir the pot. 

And it's not just Rorate Caeli. Nope. Mark Shea can attest to the fact that the TRADS were all set and ready to crap on whoever was elected if it wasn't who they wanted. 

True confessions: I went over to the Fisheaters forum myself to see what they were saying. A lot of it was good, hopeful, and positive. But a lot of it wasn't. It was ALL about ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY: Our precious Latin mass. Will Pope Francis continue to allow it? (Answer: No one knows.) Is he supportive of the Latin Mass? (Answer: All signs point to "no," given that the Buenos Aires diocese doesn't really offer any and Cardinal Bergoglio is supposedly on record as being "anti.") And then even worse comments and speculation - more prophecies, more Fatima controversies, and an immediate witch hunt to find any crack or hole in Bergoglio's record - thus proving that modernist Rome is leading us all down the primrose path.

Oh, and numerous cries of: "Thank God he didn't take the name of John Paul III." That and criticism because the new Pope Francis asked people to pray for him! Horror of horrors! How weak of him! How un-papal! He's supposed to be praying for US!

Alright, I know that my publishing this is also stirring the pot. It's somewhat negative. But if this doesn't say it all, then what else will? This is a joyous event for the Catholic Church, and yet in their public persona these Traditionalists are largely incapable of grasping anything joyous. Will they also criticize the resurrection of Christ? I ask, since there's not much left joyous for them to grasp.

Oh, and check out the SSPX statement on this. Make sure to quote Pope Pius X no matter what, since he's, like, "the" authority by which to model everything.

By the way, I got teary-eyed over the coverage of the new Pope. So there.

And also, I know I have to get off the TRAD subject. I know it's a dead-end topic for me because of the exact content of this post. Nothing will make them happy, and thus, it's pretty pointless to continue to beat that drum. 

As one priest said on my Facebook page tonight, "They won't even be happy in heaven."

And This Little Piggy Wore A Chapel Veil

I envy all the people who can leave anonymous comments on blogs, whereas I can't blog anonymously. I say this because today I just have to be me and speak my mind, and what I have to say isn't gonna make everyone happy.

A cursory glance of my still very tiny blog role brought me to Erin Manning's blog, with news that Jennifer Fulwiler of Conversion Diary is now wearing a chapel veil to mass. UPDATE: Erin wrote a SECOND post about the veiling thing!

LOUD GROAN

So loud you can hear it while reading this.

Chapel veil wars on the Catholic internet are as frequent and almost as hotly debated as the pants/skirts wars. If you've spent any amount of time reading Catholic blogs you already know this, and you already know that it's best to stand back, not participate, and instead enjoy the car wreck.

Supreme laziness: I agree with every single thing Erin Manning has said in her post about chapel veils. So go over there and read what she has to say. But in case you're too lazy yourself, here's my summary: If you want to wear a chapel veil, great, go for it, enjoy yourself. Wearing a chapel veil is part of Catholic tradition that is well-known, and Catholicism is thankfully wide and broad enough to incorporate all kinds of things. There's a lady at my church who always wears a chapel veil and I'm totally fine with it; she's a nice lady and a serious Catholic. My good friend wears a chapel veil whenever she goes to the Latin mass, which is often enough, and I don't have an issue with it.

If you feel God has called you to to wear a chapel veil, I'm fine with that too, and I'll honor your belief. However, I will question why God hasn't instead called you to take the $18 you spent on that chapel veil and instead contribute it to your local crisis pregnancy center or something similar. But I know, how God calls one and not another is none of my business.

With all of that being said, I'd like to add that Jennifer Fulwiler is a great person with a blog that I routinely read and have at times benefited from. I take her to be a sincere person who seems very nice. I really do mean that and would appreciate it if people wouldn't question me on that. So if Jennifer wants to experiment with wearing chapel veils and/or permanently incorporate them as part of her Catholic life, I accept that. I didn't read her blog post explaining it all and don't feel I need to - her reasons and feelings about the subject are hers alone.

So why the big groan from me?

Because legions of Catholic women lap up everything she says, and many many times, they do it in a very unthinking manner.

Remember in my recent post about "Cutsey Catolicism," I observed this about certain kinds of Catholic women:

"Those who followed my first blog know that I was highly critical of  the now defunct "Faith & Family Live" blog for exactly the sort of spirit and experience that I'm questioning here. I'm serious, if I had mentioned in a commbox over there that I was making and marketing a Catholic laundry detergent - basically Tide in a bottle but with a label that said something like "St. Ann's Suds" -  they would have fallen all over themselves to buy it and promote it and talk about how wonderful it was that they could now buy laundry detergent from a good Catholic."

I believe the exact same thing about Jennifer Fulwiler going public about wearing a chapel veil - Catholic women falling over themselves to mimic and copy her, and now a great big fad for wearing chapel veils erupts (as if there wasn't already a sort-of fad going because of the supposed resurgence of the Latin mass). As I commented over on Erin's blog, "Score one for Father Z!" Come to think of it, maybe Father Z put her up to this! Ha!

Here I go again with my broad brush: There's just a certain kind of crowd that follows Jennifer Fulwiler (and I've noted many, many times that it includes a boat-load of Protestants, which I still don't understand.) There's a certain kind of crowd that follows me. There's a certain kind of Catholic that follows whoever's behind Whispers in the Loggia. While we all intersect on the "Catholic" part, there ARE differences. Some people read The New Yorker, some people read People Magazine.

The crowd that follows Jennifer Fulwiler is the kind of crowd that looks to her as an example, a guide or mentor of sorts. I mean, look at the names of the people/blogs who post their links after her weekly "7 Quick Takes" meme and one can quickly surmise her target audience. And she DOES has a target audience - otherwise she wouldn't be doing an online TV reality show and have a soon-to-be published book. In fact, I would go so far as to say Jennifer Fulwiler has literally become a Catholic PRODUCT that we now consume like any other media product we consume.

I have, myself, been through the phase where I took my cues from the Catholic internet as to what did or did not construe an acceptable Catholic life, practice, and existence. I learned the hard way, even if I was suspicious and questioning all along. Let's just say other people are much more trusting than I was, and those people are trusting Jennifer to lead them through the wilderness of how to make sense of modern conservative Catholicism.

I'm just not so sure that wearing a chapel veil is a necessary aspect of modern-day conservative Catholicism. In fact, somewhere a rad-trad is laughing about her doing this, claiming her wearing a chapel veil is like a pig with lipstick in a pew at a Latin mass. There's a point where maybe us neo-cons need to just owe up to being neo-cons (a term I despise), since it's pretty neo-con-ish for someone who gives radio interviews to EWTN and Relevant Radio to be wearing a chapel veil. I say this as someone who has no problem with EWTN and Relevant Radio, which is why the extremists call me a neo-con, instead of someone who goes to mass at an FSSP parish.

But hey, if that's what these women want, have at it. As long as they operate in Christian love and charity, and they're towing the Catholic party line, I'm not supposed to care. Right?

Right. As far as I'm concerned, Jennifer Fulwiler's Catholic testimony is fine and well without an extra scrap of lace.

Something Smells Fishy

Talk about conspiracy theories and the Pope's resignation?

While discussing/enlightening a good Catholic friend as to what some of the Traditionalist Catholics have been saying about the matter, we sat in front of the Fisheaters forum reading various discussion threads.

Un-freaking-believable.

That's all I have to say.

Un-freaking-believable.

Actually, on some level, I sympathize a bit with what they are saying. But the sympathy runs out when they can't connect the letters A to B, instead connecting the letter A to Q or something. Things like, "Good thing I can defect to the SSPX in case they elect some modernist pope. I can stay there until a better pope comes along."

Sedevacantism is a religion alive and well.

A Liturgically Correct Valentine For You

 

Now, how did I come up with this, you ask? It was all innocent, I swear! It was sent to me last year by a very Baptist friend who knows nothing of chapel veils or Traditional Catholicism. 

Yup, it's vintage!

Feel free to pass it around to your favorite trad. Seriously! If I were a Traditional Catholic, I'd love this! 

I was tempted to ask readers to write a fitting sentiment to go with this card, you know, roses are red, violets are blue......but that might turn out to be hysterically funny and that would be a no-no. Or would it? (Erin Manning seems to be on a role lately, with her song about Traditional Catholics set to "American Pie." I'm sure she could come with something here, too.)

Well anyway, Happy Valentine's Day!

Full Circle

Condensed, elapsed, and selective run-through of a discussion held on this blog in the last week, re: Father Robert Barron's "Catholicism" series:

Me:  "Everything about the "Catholicism" series - what I've seen of it so far - is renewing my faith in the Catholic Church. It is giving me hope...It is reminding me that Christ is bigger than the petty arguments between the liturgy police and the uber-orthodox, etc....The sad thing is, I'll bet many Traditional Catholics have refused to watch the "Catholicism" series. I've had thoughts like this through every episode...I hope I'm wrong, because there is a big, beautiful wide world of Catholic faith out there, and I get the sense that some dedicated Catholics are missing it. I share these thoughts because they are just that, my thoughts and impressions, and not to enflame a liturgy/rite war."

Eulogos: "Why would you think that "traditionalists" would not like it?"

Me:  "I can't specifically identify exactly what it was about the handful of "Catholicism" episodes that I believe the Traditionalists would dislike. I wasn't taking notes. It was just a sense and feeling I got, at times overwhelming. Perhaps it was the presentation of the Church as broad, open, living, and loving. That shouldn't be at odds with any form/rite of Catholicism, but I am convinced that it is."

Love the Girls:  "...if it's popular among the common Catholics odds are it's likewise very annoying and well worth avoiding."

Commbox in General: Long, drawn-out discussion re-hashing what is or is not a Traditional Catholic. People making arguments FOR Traditional Catholicism. People trying to point out that not everyone is a stereotypical, judgemental TRAD. Me responding to all of this, cringing the whole time because I know from previous experience this is all going down a rabbit hole and fast. This is all spinning off topic from the intended praise I had for the "Catholicism" videos.

Me:  "I would just like to point out here that this post wasn't supposed to be a discussion on the TRAD thing. Far from it. I simply mentioned it because it was a personal thought, just a thing floating through my head as I watched....REALLY wish this discussion hadn't veered in this direction. My thoughts in the original blog post were, again, as if I were just airing out a few stray thoughts in my happy, warm lovey-dovey feelings for Father Barron's video series. Just goes to show that if you mention "Traditional Catholic," there is ALWAYS a price to pay for it."

Dave, trying to more specifically outline the long-held issues I have with some Traditional Catholics to another commenter:  "If you want a concrete example of all the [Traditionalist] tendencies I've listed (and then some), I invite you to visit http://www.traditioninaction.org . And then get out of it as soon as you can."

Allison (who prefers and mainly attends the Latin Mass):  I'm impressed with what Fr. Barron is doing with Youtube from a Catholic social media perspective. He is reaching people where they are...Perhaps most interesting to this conversation is that my Latin Mass pastor is hosting his Catholicism series videos weekly and having discussions afterwards."

Me:  "Allison, that's what I want to hear: Latin mass crowd being open to the universality of the Church. Not being afraid. Not throwing something out without trying it first. Not pre-supposing that because it's something new that it's total trash. Good for your pastor and good for you."

Dave:  "If you could believe it, I have come across a sedevacantist website which had some grudging praise for the Catholicism series...strange but true..."

Love the Girls:  "I asked my good friend Patrick, a Feeneyite and occasional writer for Tradition in Action about the Fr. Barron series. And his reply fits with what I would have expected. Fr. Barron is a creature of the new orthodoxy who toes the company line very well."

Scream!

OK, I know that Love the Girls is just one human being on this planet. But here is proof positive of the loose, floating thoughts that I had all the while I was watching the "Catholicism" series. Though some wanted to argue with me about how my broad-brush picture of TRADS is totally off-base, I think this one, final comment brings the whole thing full circle.

It's also proof that maybe those who want to diss it the most are the ones who ought to watch it.

Tempted to close the commbox on this one, but oh well, I'm all for free expression and all that, even if it makes me question my sanity in wanting to blog again.

On Father Barron's "Catholicism" Series

I wanted to note here that I finally capitulated and started watching Father Robert Barron's "Catholicism" video series.

My knee-jerk reaction to all the hype and hoopla when it first came out was to avoid it. That's a very "Char" thing to do, and I'm OK with that. Also, I especially didn't want to watch it with certain groups of people that I knew were going to annoy me and gush and gush and gush. I had actually entertained the idea that I would one day end up watching it alone.

Now I'm here to gush.

I know, I'm hilarious.

Turns out that Alan's school has been showing it on Fridays once or twice a month after mass. It's a group of moms watching, and they are women I'm comfortable with.

What I like most about the series so far - I've seen only 3 or 4 episodes? - is the very obvious, though simultaneously NOT obvious emphasis on how varied and diverse Catholicism is, yet all of it IS Catholic. So many people do not get that or refuse to see it or don't want to admit it.

During one episode, Father Barron was discussing something - I wish I could remember what - and I turned to one woman (who knows how I feel about certain issues) and said to her, "This is why the Traditional Catholics are wrong." (Disclaimer: I was not saying they are wrong in a total sense. It had more to do with the nuances of how Traditional Catholicism is often presented and sold by its adherents, being an isolated thing that is the only truly true thing.)

Whatever it was that made me speak up like that, I got the sense that Christ's arms and love (and therefore the Church) are big and strong and wide open. Much bigger than many loudmouth Catholics want to accept, believe, or attest to.

Last week we saw the episode about the saints. Though I started crying during the St. Therese part (wimp alert), what really fascinated me more was the story about St. Katherine Drexel. It just blew me away! All that money, all that status, all that cultured elitism and she chucked it out to serve blacks and Indians at a time when that would have been considered insane. Talk about social justice!

Which is the point. Here was social justice in play by a holy, orthodox woman who became a saint. Social justice??!?!!! Heresy alert! Liberal alert! Sirens! Alarms!

Not.

Everything about the "Catholicism" series - what I've seen of it so far - is renewing my faith in the Catholic Church. It is giving me hope that I am not a weirdo or a heretic for my personal brand of faith. It is reminding me that Christ is bigger than the petty arguments between the liturgy police and the uber-orthodox, etc. It is confirming my sense that logic and common sense have a place in faith. (Just listening to Father Barron talk is like having "head-screwed-on-straight balm" applied to my whole being.)

I've missed an episode or two, which upset me at first, but I see now that every episode is stand alone.

If you know a Protestant that is questioning the Catholic faith/interested in it or a lukewarm Catholic, the first episode will blow their mind! It did for me. All I could think as I was watching it was so-and-so and so-and-so needs to see this. And for the precise reason that it wasn't all in-your-face or propaganda-ish or pushy or anything. It was just so sensible in its presentation of truth and mystery and majesty that my jaw was on the ground.

The sad thing is, I'll bet many Traditional Catholics have refused to watch the "Catholicism" series. I've had thoughts like this through every episode I've literally sat riveted to. I hope I'm wrong, because there is a big, beautiful wide world of Catholic faith out there, and I get the sense that some dedicated Catholics are missing it. I share these thoughts because they are just that, my thoughts and impressions, and not to enflame a liturgy/rite war.

Answers To At Least Ten Or More Questions

1. How's it going with Alan and school? Alan's adjustment; the school itself; your reaction to the change in your day; your interactions with those you've met through the school etc. (Maureen)

Alan is doing spectacularly well at his non-diocesan, independent/private Catholic school. In October he was already reading (without pictures and pictograms), and each week he has a spelling test consisting of about 9-10 three-letter words and he has scored 100% on all of them. All of his math tests have scored at 100%. He asks many questions about what he learns about his Catholic faith and/or talks to us about it quite often. I attribute this success to: A.) A small classroom with only 5 children, B.) A fantastic teacher, C.) The use of primarily old-school curriculum, most of it originating from home school sources (Little Angel Reader, Saxon Math, etc.), and D.) A learning environment that is focused on the academic in a happy, cheerful, and age-appropriate manner without lowering the standard to "everything has to be fun all day, all the time!"

That being said, Alan is probably the liveliest, most talkative child in the class, and we need to work on that a bit. Not that he doesn't have one or two "contemporaries" who feed off of him and one another. The fact that he is the sole only-child in the school, coming from a rather loud, free, and expressive family likely explains this situation.

As for me, I generally stay at the school everyday, since we have a 70 mile round trip each day to the school. Given that Alan attends half-day kindergarten (the only one in the metro Milwaukee area?), it just makes sense. I run the milk program and work on various tasks or projects, as needed. Often times I sit and work on cross-stitch. I have been a substitute teacher a handful of times, which I've loved. Occasionally, like today, I take a break and sit in a local coffee shop and blog or work on my own stuff. Granted, I could do that at the school, but sometimes a person just needs a change of scenery.

Each day at this school is a struggle and a blessing. Despite the fact that I am a morning person, waking up at 5:30 a.m. every day sucks. I get up and get myself ready before I rouse Alan and my husband, and I'm screaming out here, "I'M TIRED!!!." We leave the house at 6:50 each morning. Still, each day, as I drive into downtown Milwaukee, I can see the sun rise above Lake Michigan, and it never ceases to inspire me.

The good news is that every single person at the school, and I do mean every single person at this tiny school, is a joy to be around in one way or another each and every day. Almost five months in, I have yet to see a single instance of back-biting, negative gossip, or uncharitability. Everyone is cheerful, inviting, and caring. As a result, Char here has to work overtime to be the same in return, and I AM EXHAUSTED!!! It is HARD WORK being a Christian! I literally come home spent and in need of sleep because I am trying so hard to act in accordance and reciprocity of the example set before me. Not that I want to behave in a contrary manner, and not that the school necessarily demands such behavior. It's just so real and authentic that there's no other way in which to respond but to respond in like.

I directly attribute a large portion of the reason I have returned to the sacraments to the fact that the employees and families of this school have set an example that brings me FINALLY to the hope I have for a normal Catholic community/experience. Unfortunately, after 18 years, the school is at risk of closing next year, which I'll talk about some other time.

2.  Did you get to know the family across the road? (Amethyst)

This question is referring to the Lutheran home school family that now lives kitty-corner across the street from us. It has been a slow process, but yes, we have gotten to know them somewhat better. That being said, I have yet to meet the father, who works multiple jobs with odd hours. Alan plays over there maybe once every two weeks, and once in awhile, the Mom and I get to chit-chat. I admit that I'm always wondering if deep down they think we're heathens because we're Catholic, but I try to quiet that voice and go with the flow. They are the kind of homeschoolers where the home school has taken over the house, as opposed to the sorts of families who confine homeschooling to a designated area or room in their home. So when I visit, it's always interesting to see what the kids are working on.

3. Do you have a favorite saint and/or devotion? (Kasclar)

Not yet. I don't know enough about enough saints to answer. I feel good vibes towards Saint Jude and Saint Mary Magdalene (and not for freaky/goofy/liberal reasons!) Recently, I have reason to attempt a devotion to the Infant of Prague. I'm interested in most things Mary. I wish I would spend more time on the Divine Mercy devotion. Finally, our family is getting more and more "into" the Schoenstatt movement, which I do plan to blog about in the future.

4. Were you mad at the Church recently? (Angela)

Um, yes. I still am a little mad. The good news is that I've realized I can compartmentalize my anger over one or two very specific issues while at the same time continue to be a practicing Catholic and partake in the sacraments, which should (theoretically) help heal the remaining open wounds I have. For a long time, I couldn't see that and didn't want to see that. Though I mentioned it a handful of times on Cheeky Pink Girl, none of you know how many, many, many, many times I missed mass on purpose; months upon months upon months. I figured that if the main attraction for me was the Eucharist, and I couldn't partake in it, then why bother going? And besides, I wasn't interested in seeing any smug, self-righteous Catholics who hurt me just by their very existence.

Back this past summer, I contacted blogger Mark Shea, since I kept longing to talk about my issues with someone I actually believed was normal, intelligent, empathetic, and non-judgemental. He was all I could come up with in that category, which is a direct testament to his writing. I believed that what I saw in print was what I would get one-on-one, and I wasn't disappointed. He actually had me call him at home one night, and we were on the phone for about 2-3 hours. It was amazing how fast he honed in on the issues and made his diagnosis. (Granted, I only shared with him ONE of my issues - the other issue, well, I still don't know where to go and what to do about it.)

Basically, Mark said I HAVE to forgive all the Catholics who have hurt me. I DID NOT want to hear this. He also suggested that the enemy, Satan, was attacking me, which also made me flinch. On the one hand, it was great to have someone laugh with me about all the crazy, conspiracy theory, uber-judgemental bullshit that one experiences both in the Catholic blogosphere and in real-life orthodox/TRAD circles. But still, at some point he had to shut down my comedy act and remind me that no matter how mean and misguided some of these people might be, they are fellow human beings, fellow Catholics, fellow Christians. He made me understand that until I forgave them - including the nameless, faceless, anonymous troll types, I was dead in the mud.

I sat on this advice for a long time, not wanting to give up the ghost. At other times, I thought about it quite a bit. Sometimes I would move toward finally going back to confession and having a desire to confess all this anger. But every time I got close, something would happen to screw it all up. I vividly recall one such incident: We were at mass at a local basilica that is situated in an idyllic, natural setting. It was a beautiful fall day and for once I was open to going to mass. As soon as our family got situated in our pew, I looked up to see a father come in with a train of about six children. Most of the children were girls, and all of them (including a little girl who had to be about 2-3 years old), were wearing frumpy skirts down to their ankles. Right away I knew they were part of the "Modesty Squad" and I became instantly enraged. To my mind and tastes, these girls looked ridiculous. And for the rest of mass, all I could think about was how wrong this family was, how stupid I thought they looked, and how this is not the way to produce relevant Catholics who will make a difference in the world. At the same time, I kept telling myself things like, "Shut up, Char, what's it to you?" or "They have one way of being Catholic, you have another, and if it's real to them, what business is it of yours?" Of course, this family was sitting in plain view the entire mass. I literally spent large portions of the mass staring down at the wood in the pew, trying to force myself to not even catch sight of them. It was stuff like this - or an occasional peak onto Father's Z's blog, etc. - that would stop me in my tracks and keep me grounded in my anger.

At one point, I had a theme song for my anger. I showcase it here because if you listen to the lyrics, you will see how low I had gotten. The song is full of Catholic reference and the video, disturbingly so?, Catholic imagery. (Note: I still think this is a beautiful, insightful song, despite the heretical aspects of it. I expect aesthetes and artists to "get it." And yes, I know what Morrissey is referring to in this song, but I appropriated it for my own use.)

 "I HAVE FORGIVEN JESUS" by Morrissey
 
I was a good kid
I wouldn't do you no harm
I was a nice kid
With a nice paper round
Forgive me any pain
I may have brung to you
With God's help I know
I'll always be near to you
But Jesus hurt me
When he deserted me, but
I have forgiven Jesus
For all the desire
He placed in me when there's nothing I can do
With this desire
I was a good kid
Through hail and snow I'd go
Just to moon you
I carried my heart in my hand
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
But Jesus hurt me
When he deserted me, but
I have forgiven Jesus
For all of the love
He placed in me
When there's no-one I can turn to with this love
Monday - humiliation
Tuesday - suffocation
Wednesday - condescension
Thursday - is pathetic
By Friday life has killed me
By Friday life has killed me
(Oh pretty one, Oh pretty one)
Why did you give me
So much desire?
When there is nowhere I can go
To offload this desire
And why did you give me
So much love
In a loveless world
When there's no one I can turn to
To unlock all this love
And why did you stick me in
Self-deprecating bones and skin
Jesus - do you hate me?
Why did you stick me in
Self-deprecating bones and skin
Do you hate me? do you hate me?
Do you hate me? do you hate me?
Do you hate me?

If any of you are still with me after that, thanks. Like I said, that was the lowest, angriest point.

So anyway, Mark Shea helped me, the school helped me, and the prayers of my husband helped me. Right before Christmas, I went to confession after 22 months, and then joyfully, back to communion. Which resulted in me promptly returning to a scrupulous mindset, which is yet another issue for another time.

I still struggle with anger towards other Catholics. How could I not? I'm still me. I still have very strong opinions about the Catholic faith and how it's practiced. I will obviously continue to blog about this stuff, which is why many liked my first blog and why many wanted me to continue blogging. But this time around, in some way, shape, or form, I desire (please help me Holy Spirit) to do it in a way that is not only "me," but also a tad thoughtful, as well.

5. Has the drama at [bleep bleep siren we interrupt this sentence to not specifically go there] died down? (KNelson)

Dear Mr. Nelson, this past fall it got decidedly worse. For obvious reasons, I can't discuss it here. If you or anyone else wants to know, just email me. You, of all people, Mr. Nelson, would be very interested in the next chapter. At the current time, things are calm for all involved.

6. Will we every hear you sing? (Kerri)

What an odd, interesting question! Answer: Probably not. I don't like to sing in public unless it's a professionally rehearsed scenario, like a wedding. That hasn't happened in a long time.

I don't sing in church choirs because, regrettably, I don't like to sing church music. I would rather be in a choir that sings show tunes, etc.

There are old videos of me singing in high school, on videotape (VCR). If they ever get transferred to some digital format, I'll consider posting one.

6. Is the cigar smoking trad-ish priest still at your parish? (Alice)

No. He got moved to a parish one town south of us. We still hang out with him recreationally, going out to eat or having drinks with him at the rectory where he lives. Fittingly, we gave him cigars for Christmas.

When Alan had surgery at Children's Hospital in December, the traddy-ish priest did the pre-surgery blessing/anointing. He was also at our home until after 11 p.m. on the Epiphany, blessing our house and shooting the shit with us. Sometimes we go to mass at his parish.

He is very traditional (without having bailed to the Latin mass side, although I always wonder if he secretly wants to), and we enjoy the free (very free) exchange of ideas and Catholic happenings with him.

7. Every now and then, I read a news story about something very cool that someone has done or is doing - something that makes me sit up and thank God for making my fellow human beings so brilliant or loving or insightful. Have you read such a story lately, and if so would you care to share your thoughts on it? (John Henry)

I read a lot of books. If my week is going the way I want it, I will read from start to finish one to three books. Not every week is like that.

But in answer to your question, have I lately read anything like that? No. Not unless you want to thank God for the gift of excellent writers, in general, who make reading a good book possible.

However, just the other day, I discovered the program called America Unearthed on the History Channel 2. Being an archaeology junkie, this was right up my alley. And the premise of the show, that much of the learned history that we subscribe to is wrong, was like a premise after my own heart. It didn't hurt that the first episode I saw had to do with copper mining in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, which is a pet subject of mine in conjunction with my family's genealogy.

By the way, I do have to mention, in conjunction with Question #4 above, that blogger Mark Shea makes me thank God for the great human beings He created. And I think I'll add blogger Elizabeth Esther to that list, too.

8. Did you enjoy the latest Hobbit movie? (Priest's Wife)

Didn't see it and didn't want to. I am allergic to anything elves-goblins-Renaissance-Harry Potter-wizards-dungeons-spells, etc. I consider The Hobbit as part of that category. Although that being said, whenever it was a few years ago, I did go see "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe."

By the way, my husband loves anything C.S. Lewis and Tolkien. I understand why both authors are important to Catholic thought, so I'm not stupid enough to deprive my child of those authors when the time comes around. If the school he's at stays open, he will be reading plenty of both.

Another reason I probably wouldn't see The Hobbit is because if everybody is doing it or seeing it, my automatic knee-jerk reaction is to avoid it like the plague. If it seems like it's part of the Rite of Being a Good Catholic, I usually want no part of it, unless it's an organic development that makes sense. Case in point: "Bella" and "The Passion of the Christ." Have seen neither, and both are physically in my home. With "Passion of the Christ," it's because I can barely handle the sanitized 1960's movie versions of the crucifixion, so I know I won't deal well with an intensely graphic one. With "Bella," I want to be free of everybody's gratuitous gushing about how great it is and evaluate the movie on its own merits, but just haven't gotten around to it.

9. How did you choose the new blog name? (Maureen)

I thought a lot about how the teachers and families at Alan's school appeared to be good, holy, and well-meaning Catholics without living in a bubble. Granted, outside secular folks probably think the school and the practices of the families that go there are oppressively bubble-ish, but for people like me who search for the middle ground within Catholic orthodoxy, it was immediately obvious that something was different about the school, and it intrigued me and continues to intrigue me. And then I got to thinking about the reality/truth (at least I hope so, it remains to be seen) that a person can, in fact, be a decent, holy Catholic without living in a bubble or subscribing to bubble-ish notions. I decided that I wanted a major theme of the blog to be "popping" bubble thinking, and conversely, examining whether or not certain Catholic beliefs and practices might actually be aspects of bubble living without our recognizing it?

The "such a pretty" part of the name likely comes from a deep subconscious suspicion of anything that smacks of perfectionism. There's probably some mean part of me that relishes the idea of popping Catholic bubbles.

10. Do you know how glad I am to see you return? (Sherry)

No, I didn't, but thanks! It's nice to hear.

It was also nice to know I'm still held in some sort of esteem by people with actual brains, such as Erin Manning.

As a favor, if YOU think I have any sort of brain cells firing correctly, would you mind adding me to your blog role or doing a tiny little post like Erin did? I'd really, really appreciate it.

Whew! I've  been writing for almost three hours! It's almost time to pick Alan up!